Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dear Lego

Dear Lego,

Did you know that your sharp little pieces of plastic are particularly painful on bare feet? Especially if you are holding an infant?



Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Happy Faces



Monday, February 27, 2012

The Fresh Beat Band

I have memorized the Fresh Beat Band songs.

I imagine them doing obscene amounts of coke for some reason.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Good Stuff

Saturday, February 25, 2012


Chupa looks very alert here.


Kidlet had a meltdown on Thursday. A meltdown which was baffling. And honestly, hysterical. When I picked her up from Pre K she was in a bad mood.

The car was too hot.
The car was too cold.
The radio was too loud.
She could not hear the song.

Then when we got home, our dog looked at her funny. Chupa looked at her in a mean way and she did not like it.

Then she ripped her folder that held her schoolwork. This caused the meltdown.

She held her ripped folder and cried.

I told her to calm down and we would fix it.

Chupa starts crying because kidlet is crying.

I tell kidlet to calm down.


Imagine tears and other liquids dripping all over two little red faces.

I tell kidlet not to worry, we can fix it.

And I get her new folder.

But the vapors have gripped my oldest child.

She is crying and crying and crying. Finally, I get her some water to drink.


I replied, "Because you might run out of tears."

Kidlet thinks about this and drinks the water.

And she stopped crying.


No my mother has not brought my daughter's damn clothes.

And yesterday, she and my father came by to give Chupa a bath. You may think this is odd, but my mother really does not know how to play with my children. She only knows how to clean up and bathe them. Cue the violins. Does this give you insight to my childhood? And she really likes doing it. I do too but my mother REALLY likes doing it.

Yesterday, Chupa was not feeling the bath. She was grumpy and fussy the whole time. My mother is not someone who has ever been able to handle stress (see how she got stressed out by me fucking asking for what she volunteered to do?) and the stress of bathing and dressing my child was too much for her. So she SCREAMED for my father to help her. My father was playing with kidlet.

I do not know if those of you without babies realize this but screaming around a baby DOES NOT MAKE THE SITUATION BETTER. Now Chupa is no longer just grumpy, she is in the red, angry and I cannot deal with this shit point. So I intervene and take the baby and dress her myself. And during the whole time I am dealing with my screaming, red and angry baby my mother WILL NOT SHUT UP. She is telling me how stressful it is to have a baby scream the whole time I am dressing my child. And that she cannot handle it.

So later she asked if I needed her to come by during the week to help me out and I said, "No."

Because if this is how she deals with a fussy baby, I do not need this shit.

Friday, February 24, 2012

From My Analytics

So I was looking at my analytics for this blog and four people found this blog by googling Kelli Giddish Look Alike Porn.

I feel they must have been disappointed not to get the answer they were looking for.

The porn star who looks like Kelli Giddish is BiBi Jones. No I did not need to google that. I actually knew it.

Here is her twitter feed. Do not look at this at work. Because the pics are graphic. Of BOOBS. And other girlie parts.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Doctor Visit

We took both girls to the doctor this week.
She only gained half a pound but grew two inches. She got some shots which sucked.

This one will need glasses and got no shots.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Adventures in being kidlet

So this morning, like every morning I take kidlet to pre K. She has to take a lunch which I lovingly packed the night before, like I do every night. I know kidlet has taken her lunch and put it in the car because I see her do this. By the time we got to school, her lunch has disappeared.

She is in HYSTERICS.


I drive off because I am holding up the car pool pick up.

When I get home, I find it tucked on the other side of Chupa's car seat. How did it get there? THE FUCK IF I KNOW.

So I turn around and take her lunch to school.

And I am beyond exasperated.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Chupa is interested in this walker. Oh sorry, ACTIVITY CENTER.  She can play quite contentedly for long enough for me to start dinner.

Kidlet loves Barbie. I dislike Barbie because BITCH CAN'T KEEP A JOB!

From Yohboh


Monday, February 20, 2012

You know it is bad

You know it is bad when you wake up and the first thought you have is that you are looking forward to going back to sleep.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Pizza Eater

Kidlet ate a whole cheese pizza by herself.

New Favorite


I got a deeply discounted blanket for Chupa. She LOVES it.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Something I miss

I miss sleeping in.

Friday, February 17, 2012


Gaga took kidlet to the circus.

I was looking forward to sleeping in but Chupa is a MORNING BABY! not like that.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Amazing Poop

Chupa had a poop that looks like she pooped out of her navel. Her butt is clean. But her belly is COVERED in poop.

My little family


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Shaming Ruffians

Recently, kidlet and I were at the store. There was a mother there with her three boys and the boys were acting like they had no sense. They were climbing in the refrigerators and jumping on meat packs. The mother was ignoring it.

Kidlet saw this and tried to climb into a refrigerator to do the same and I. SHUT. IT. THE. FUCK. DOWN.

I said, "No! You will not disrespect the store and ruin product that does not belong to you." I said it calmly and in a low tone of voice. I looked her in the eyes and said it slowly. Then I stared. She looked apologetic and stopped immediately.

And so did the ruffians.

Da Pix


That is what kidlet looks like when she comes back from Gaga's house.


This is what happens when kidlet accessorizes Chupa.

Hugging Back

Chupa can hug back.

I like it!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Being Present

Being a mom means making butts and noses are clean, bellies are fed and clothes are not puked on. There are sleepless nights and bleary mornings. There are frustrations and impatience.

But really, there are moments where you admire little fingers and gummy smiles and people who write their S's backwards.

And giggles.

The giggles are great.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Thoughts on Motherhood

Kidlet has made me a better person.

I love my kidlet.

I also think if you do not like my kidlet, you are an asshole.

Chupa Celebrating


Sunday, February 12, 2012



Last Year

Two Years Ago

Happy Birthday
Three Years Ago

Second Hanbok
Four Years Ago

Five years ago

Date with Daddy

Kidlet and Daddy went to the symphony to see Cinderella.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Birthday Party

Kidlet had a birthday party where she has her gymnastics. She fell asleep HARD from the amount of fun she had.


And she got another Hello Kitty Cake.

Chupa with a Daddy To Be


Bitch I Want Some Chicken

So yohboh has been on me lately to reduce the amount of reusable bags I have. Since I coupon, I have an alarming amount of reusable bags. So on the way home from taking kidlet to pre K this week, I saw a man using two plastic grocery bags. One looked like it was about to burst. I slowed down and this is what happened:

Minjenah, "Hey, would you like a bag?" I held up one of the many reusable bags I have.
Bag Man, "Bitch, I want some chicken!"
Minjenah, taken aback, "Go Fuck Yourself."

And then I drove off.

Friday, February 10, 2012


Powered Up
This is kidlet at four months old.

This is Chupa.

Rolling Over

Chupa rolls over in her sleep. Then she is alarmed she is on her tummy. Makes for a rough night.

Birthday Siege Part One

I dropped off cupcakes for kidlet's birthday. They were popular. You know what was more popular?

Thursday, February 09, 2012


Honestly, when was the last time someone was well rested for a whole week while not on vacation?

Wednesday, February 08, 2012


So apparently asking my mother to find something stresses her out.

She told me that the stress of me constantly asking for something has made it so she cannot sleep.

Wow, good thing I wasn't a problem child.


This is the Smith family tired.

Grinny Baby

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Almost Five


Cee Lo Chupa


To those of you who do not get the reference, this is Cee Lo Green.

Monday, February 06, 2012


Chupa has a bit of cradle cap. So every night, I massage oil into her head.

Kidlet recently saw me doing this and asked why. So I explained what cradle cap was and why I massage the oil.

Cue to yesterday, kidlet is rubbing Chupa's head as hard as she can. She stops and I ask why she did it. She replied, "To get rid of the crapple, mommy."

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Sense of Camera


Kidlet has a good sense of camera, yes?

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Bad Neighbor Karma

So I think yohboh and I have bad neighbor karma.

We had the weird guy who kidnapped the four year old.

The neighbor who will not shut up.

Then we had the guy who tried to stab yohboh.

Then we had the woman who told me that her son may confide in me that she beats him.

Now this guy knocked on my door to tell me his dogs have been barking in his house because I left my dog outside for all hours. I have never left my dog outside for all hours. And what does it matter what my dog does on my property to what his dogs do inside his house? Weirdo.

Chupa in action

Or as much as a four month old does.

Dear Subconscious,

Dear Subconscious,

I am with Chupa all day, every day. I do not need to dream about her.



Friday, February 03, 2012

Moves Like Jagger




This is what kidlet does after her bath. Cuddle with her daddy.

Thursday, February 02, 2012


My mother says she does not have these clothes I ask for. That I never gave them to her.

When I was in the process of storing these clothes, my mother VOLUNTEERED to do this for me.

Do you think she annoys me to get a reaction from me?

Kidlet does this sometimes, especially when I am busy with Chupa's needs.

I am getting insight on my mother by raising a preschooler.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Product Placement


Mommy, I like the table to the Bumbo.

Right after I took this photo I had to change her clothes.


Right after I took this photo I had to change her clothes, because she puked all over them. Good thing a Bumbo can be hosed off.


When I had kidlet, I gave her clothes that she had outgrown to my mother. Because I knew I was going to have another kid. My mother is a disorganized woman so I PAINSTAKINGLY labeled all the things in large diaper boxes so it would be easier for her to store. My mother got another storage unit specifically for this purpose.

When I had Chupa, I asked for the clothes which I had put in the boxes in the order that I had put them in. As in, I asked my mother for all the clothes under 2T. My mother brought me the clothes I had just given her over the summer that kidlet has just outgrown. These things are 5T and six 6 and summer gear. I asked again for the same thing. She provided 4T items for my not quite four month old.

Finally, I showed her the EXACT clothes I wanted from the pictures on this blog. She acted all insulted.

It has been very frustrating.