Friday, September 30, 2011


That is how I feel--URGH

Thursday, September 29, 2011


This is what I thought when I took this photo.

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Our dishwasher died. WHAT THE FUCK!

Lack of Sleep and Patience

Kidlet was a screaming mess until 2 AM. And then Chupa woke me up at 5 AM.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

People who judge you

People judge you when you are 38 weeks pregnant and buy wine.

You would think

If you have never been pregnant, I will tell you something that is not really interesting, merely noteworthy. Every doctor visit, you will pee in a cup.

Since my emergency room visit, I have had to visit the doctor twice a week. And lately, since I am so swollen and clumsy, I keep pissing on my hands. You would think a 39 year old woman would not piss on her hands.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Things you have to tell your kids

Kidlet was washing her paint cup with her toothbrush.

I had to explain to her that her toothbrush is only used to brush her teeth.

Monday, September 26, 2011


Kidlet is feeling off. She did not make any messes. She did not want to play IPAD.

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Mommy, when can I meet my baby sister? It is taking FOREVER.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

How I am feeling

I am feeling swollen.

Football Thoughts

I don't like football. It is boring and I cannot admire the athlete's body parts. I mean, TO has a damn fine body but with all that protective gear, how would you know?

So I suggest that the NFL do as the Greeks did in the early Olympics. Anoint the athletes in oil and let them play naked.

That would make me watch football. Every single same. Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Me and gay men of America, can I get a hallelujah?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Chupa's room

This is the kidlet painting Chupa's room.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Hot Water

I think one of the greatest luxuries is hot water. As in taking a steaming hot shower to relax your enormous belly and your aching back so you can go to bed.

I love hot water.


Kidlet makes cute faces. Seriously cute.

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This shirt made the kidlet very happy because it had sparkles on it.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Seriously the last few weeks are really uncomfortable. Kidlet tells me, "Mommy you are uncomfortable. You should lie down and I will check on you."

I love my kid.


It is fun to watch rap videos on closed captioning.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Funny thing

Kidlet and I were leaving the house this morning and it was raining.

Kidlet says, "Drink up, garden!"

Working Life

Yohboh wanted me to blog about this.

Your working life is like being pissed on while you are holding a paper umbrella. You go on happily working and occasionally you get pissed on. You pull out your paper umbrella to protect you and it works okay but it is made of paper. So if you get pissed on once a while, it is okay because your paper umbrella will dry out. But eventually, you will get pissed on. A LOT. And there you will be holding an umbrella frame with paper soaked in piss.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Cheeky Little Thing

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Sunday, September 18, 2011


The kidlet makes fashion poses like she sees in my magazines when she sees the camera.

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Wedding Anniversary

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Today is my seven year wedding anniversary. This is my anniversary gift to my yohboh.

It is a t shirt. It made me laugh.

I love my yohboh.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

My soon to be expanding family

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If someone had told me ten years ago that I would be so content, I would have bitch slapped them.


Friday, September 16, 2011


I have a lot of heartburn.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Yohboh is amazing

Yohboh is giving the kidlet a bath because I am too big to lean over right now and the baby is sitting in a weird spot.

He just exclaimed, "This is just like washing my car."

Did I mention

Did I mention that I lost two pounds last week but the baby gained one?

I am so fucking uncomfortable.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

High Fashion

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Mommy this is my high fashion face.

Where did she come from?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


So it is hard for me to lean over.

And I really want to eat a s'mores.

Stupid Diabetes.

Monday, September 12, 2011


The kidlet does not like jeans because Gaga does not know how to change the elastic in pants with a waist.


The kidlet's sniffles have morphed into a bit of a fever. She is missing school today. This made her cry.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


The kidlet is seriously focused on the Ipad.

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Bedrest is so boring!

Friday, September 09, 2011


Kidlet has a case of the sniffles. One of the gifts of the first week of school.

Overly Cautious

So I had some pregnancy complications that resulted in me being admitted to the hospital for a few hours today.

This is what happened: My blood pressure was reading too high. Most people use the automated cuff but my arm does not fit properly in the automated cuff so the aide had to do it manually. When she read it, it was reading 170/105. Needless to say, the doctor was alarmed and started throwing words around like preeclampsia and maybe I need to deliver the baby sooner. But she wanted to wait and see if my blood pressure would go down in the office. Really, if you hear shit like this, would your blood pressure go down? I was tested again and it was 150/95.

Then I am admitted to the hospital, having my blood pressure monitored, blood tested and urine tested. Yohboh had to get the kidlet from Pre K and I got to eat shrimp cocktail. While I was at the hospital, they had a proper cuff so they could accurately measure my blood pressure. On average, in the course of four hours it was 100/65 to 120/75. The 120 was when the good doctor came in to tell me about preeclampsia.

Maybe that aide needs to relearn how to take blood pressure?

So I am on bed rest this weekend just in case I develop high blood pressure from thinking about preeclampsia. The one thing I was thinking about preeclampsia is on ER when Mark Greene (Anthony Edwards) delivered a baby whose mother died because of her preeclampsia and faced a malpractice suit. Yeah, really do not want to die in childbirth.

I think my doctor is being overly cautious.

I miss my old red headed doctor.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Tired and hot

I am a large pregnant woman. I am always hot and tired.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011


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The kidlet likes to eat my antacid tablets. She thinks they taste good.

When the kidlet comes into bed with me, she tells me about her dreams.

School is going good. It has been an adjustment for both of us. Going to school everyday means that mommy has to make her lunch everyday and a discussion on what to wear everyday. The kidlet has a distinct style. But I get to use bento boxes everyday.

I found out that Mehcad Brooks films a televisions show in the ATL. I want a picture with him where he is showing his belly and I am showing mine. Actually, Terrell Owens is also on this show. I would like to be a minjenah sandwich with those two. Or make a lot of waffles.

I had another ultrasound. Chupa is six pounds and I have about a month to go. So I think she will be less than ten pounds.

I talked to my doctor about my concerns with her midwife. She said that she appreciated the feedback and that I was not the first one to voice such concerns. And she was impressed with my memory of dates and such.

And I think we have a name.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Busy Day

Kidlet had her first day of school. When did I grow a kid in Pre-k?

Then we went to gymnastics. I am a mom-chauffeur.

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Always brush your teeth!

Monday, September 05, 2011

Things that the kidlet likes better than IPad

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Mommy, S'mores and camping.

Quality Medical Care

My husband's family poo poohs medical advice. They think doctors are morons. I have always found this view to be idiotic but a good portion of my husband's family is, well, idiotic.

I think that if you have a good doctor you take it for granted. As I have mentioned before, I have had to switch ob/gyns halfway through this pregnancy. I REALLY liked my previous ob/gyn. She was thorough and intelligent. My current doctor has a LOT to be desired. Actually, I have no opinion on the doctor herself. My main problem is her CN Midwife.

Here is why:
1) She called me to tell me that I did not have gestational diabetes. Then she called back after she "checked with the doctor" a few hours later to tell me that I do have gestational diabetes. Shouldn't she have "checked with the doctor" before calling me?

2) She called me an hour and a half before my appointment to cancel. I was told she had a stomach virus over the phone. Later, she told me she had a death in the family. Which one is it?

3)During the appointment, she tried to alarm me about the size of my baby. Why are you trying to raise my blood pressure? There is nothing I can do about the size of my baby. I am eating a gestational diabetes diet and exercising regularly. I am not snarfing down deep fried pork rinds. Would you recommend I start smoking?

4) I was scheduled to come back in two weeks. The office called to reschedule because the midwife "looked at my chart" and realized that I needed to comeback the following week. Don't you think that the person who sees you for a doctor's appointment should look at your chart before they see you?

None of these things ever happened during my previous pregnancy. So either I had a really awesome doctor previously and no one can compare or the current practice I am seeing totally stinks.

What do you think?

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Real Love

Mommy, I love you more than Ipad.

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These are GaGa's glasses celebrating her recent birthday. This is the kidlet's haute couture face.

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This is the kidlet reading.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Camping Observations

The kidlet's favorite part of camping was the Waffle House. She had the Breakfast All Star Special this morning. It includes bacon, a waffle, toast, hash browns, and two eggs. She ate most of it, except for some of the waffle.

I don't eat that much.

Yohboh's favorite part is coming back and taking a soul restoring nap on the four inches of memory foam.

Yeah, I am responsible for him going soft.

Friday, September 02, 2011

Quiet Time

Today I took a nap without someone coming into my bed and telling me that she loves Ipad.

Thursday, September 01, 2011


The kidlet and yohboh are off camping. The kidlet is SO excited. There are marshmallows to make into s'mores, hot dogs to consume, swimming to do and stars to look at. This is her first time camping.

I miss my little family but I think it is good for some yohboh and kidlet time before Chupa gets here.