Thursday, March 31, 2011

Mermaid

Mommy I am a mermaid.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Funny Face

Mommy take a picture of my funny face.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Parent Teacher Conference

I had a parent teacher conference for Ava. She is very helpful and kind. Also, she likes to play with someone named Naode.

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NO MORE SVU FOR ME!

I have a DVR and sometimes I like to watch a block of shows at once. I do that for Law and Order SVU. I am not always in the mood to watch that show but when I do, I watch a few at a time. The other night, I watched FIVE episodes before I went to bed.

Obviously, I had an SVU dream.

This is what was in my dream:

This little gay boy dies on an airplane with a HUGE rock hard erection. Turns out he was smuggling aphrodisiac dried mushrooms up his ass and the bag broke. So it takes the SVU team a while to figure out that there are these twinks who travel with these giant bags of mushrooms up their butts. Apparently, it was the new trendy gay drug. So Elliot and Stabler figure out who is responsible and get her (this was the HUGE plot twist-it was a woman victimizing the twinks) arrested but not before this one twink who the cops had interviewed had shoved a three month shipment up his ass. Elliott gets to him and the little twink is hallucinating so Elliot takes a glove and gets the mushrooms out and saves the twink. But the twink is all confused because no one has ever touched him without it being cruel and depraved and becomes fixated on Elliott and when he realizes that Elliott does not love him, the twink kills himself.

I am telling my friend N. this and she says, "NO MORE SVU FOR YOU!"

Monday, March 28, 2011

I am a mom

So when we were in Orlando, we went to Clearwater Beach. It is a lovely beach and SPRING BREAK was in full effect. More importantly, it was COLLEGE SPRING BREAK. To the right of our humble umbrella was five college boys from Kansas.

At about ten o'clock were some sixteen year old girls in bikinis, which yohboh appreciated.

Did I appreciate the college boys? Honestly, they looked so young, hungover, underfed and undersunscreened that my mom instinct kicked in and I offered them water and sunscreen. I also watched their wallets for them while they played football.

Yeah, I am a mom.

Narc

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Ava is a bit of a narc. H. came over and she told me IN DETAIL what he was doing.

H. is doing his homework.

H is playing with my pink Legos.

H. is playing with my car.

H. did not finish his homework.

H. is in the bathroom. He shut the door.

Today

One year ago

005

Two years ago

Tired Cutie

Three years ago, yesterday

Mama I am stuck!

Four years ago

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sesame Beef

Ava likes sesame beef. And rice.

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Random Pics from our week in Orlando

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ava ism

Mommy, I am not talking about this now.

That stupid man!

Back but tired

We have been on vacation in Orlando this past week. We saw a couple of spring training games, went to the beach and Ava had her mind blown by the largest selection of Disney Princess crap ever.

I have pictures (well DUH) but honestly I am too tired.

To bed!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Parenting Milestone

Today yohboh and I talked about the finer plot points of the Little Mermaid.

Milestone

Ava woke Daddy with a water gun from his nap.

I asked her to go wake Daddy with kisses.

My kid rocks.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ava is very adult at times

Mommy, this is boring. It is not holding my interest.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Kids like swimming

Did you know that my kid has over 10 bathing suits?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Mommy take a picture of me on my horse

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The internet knows yohboh

So yohboh asked if there was a mash up of Charlie Sheen and the DJ Khaled song, "All I do is win."



There are like 60.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

How to say it

Grant Hill has a very thoughful rebuke of Jalen Rose's comments in a documentary on the Fab Five. I respect what he had to say. I also particularly like that he reminds Jalen that he never lost to the fab five.

Smiling in a dirty mirror

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The Old Grey Lady is pinching pennies

I adore the New York Times. Every since it had a web page, I have been reading it. I learn a lot about the world at large. Well pretty soon, I am going to have to pay for it. I may have to get the Sunday Times just so I can read online.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Chut

Chut came by for a visit. Did you know that Ava loves that guy?

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Avaisms

Mommy, I miss being three years old.

Mommy, that looks like worms (looking at ground turkey)

Mommy, only boys win musical chairs. But I won and I am a girl.

Mommy, I told H that he was not an asshole anymore.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

Pi Day

The kidlet likes blueberry pie.

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That is a blueberry streak on her cheek.

Pay Teachers More

With all the stuff going on about the teachers union in Wisconsin, I read a thoughtful column about paying teachers more. Honestly, I cannot think of a more difficult job. When I watch more than two children, I am exhausted. And I am just making sure they do not set fire to themselves.

Besides, it's not like teachers are getting a 700 billion dollar bailout (by the way, 700 billion looks like this : $700,000,000,000.00 -appalling isn't it?) so that CEOs can keep shopping at Saks and keep their Park Avenue Mansions.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sick

Someone fed Ava too much dairy. It has been a shit and a vomit storm up in here.
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There has also been a lot of sleeping.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Friday, March 11, 2011

Yohboh wants me to post this



Skank Robbers!

A natural

Ava makes faces for the camera.

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Funny Face

I spent 20 minutes patiently combing her hair so it could look like this.

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Bird Revenge

Last year, we expanded the garden. In doing so, we had to knock out some bushes. In one of the bushes, a bird had a nest in it. This bird took great offense to the moving and was very vocal about it. When the bushes were hauled away, this bird took to standing in front of one of our windows and, for lack of a better word, GLOWERING at us while we watched TV since we destroyed his home. Imagine birdy psycho music- CHEEP CHEEP CHEEEEEEP!

Last week, I noticed the bird is still around. He has been flying into our carport and shitting all over our cars. Mine in particular it seems.

Bird revenge is not to be fucked with.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Request

Ava asked for breakfast for dinner.

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Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Fluffernutter

I made Ava a fluffernutter sandwich. Her mind was blown.

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Monday, March 07, 2011

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Clean Up

Mommy, it is not as fun cleaning up as making messes.

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Friday, March 04, 2011

Exhausted

Mommy I am exhausted. Exhausted means really tired you know.

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Thursday, March 03, 2011

Artist

Ava is painting a lawn ornament.

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Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Boring

This is the week that Ava has told me things are boring.

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Tuesday, March 01, 2011