Thursday, April 29, 2010

Car Washing

Yohboh says, "Teach them early"
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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ava-isms

Red means stop!
Green means go!
Yellow means go FASTER!

Ponyo, ponyo fishy in the sea. She's a little girl, who loves Satski. And she loves HAAAAM.
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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Bloom

Here are some of the the pretty flowers in our yard:
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And of course:
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Monday, April 26, 2010

Playground

Ava went to a playground today. She hurt her chin:
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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Crackerville

I really fucking hate visits to crackerville.

RCN

Here is a picture of the idiot who threw me in the pool on my wedding day, his girlfriend and one of his children who the girlfriend is not the mother:
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He also has another child with some other woman. I took this picture so Barb would have a photo of this man as an adult. Outside of a mug shot.

ROUS

So I have been in Crackerville since Friday. Yohboh's grandfather died on Thursday. This is where we slept for the past two nights:
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It was a LITTLE cramped there. Here is Ava trying to stand on the bed:
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Here are the views around the room from the bed:
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There is a lamp back there that was made with popsicle sticks.

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(Yes that is a hopsital toilet)

So the first night there, I cannot sleep. There are many reasons that I cannot sleep:

  1. I am totally uncomfortable in the bed
  2. The ceiling is alarmingly close to the bed
  3. It is hot and stuffy in the attic room

After many hours, I fall asleep at 3 AM. I awaken ninety minutes later to hear the tell tale squeaking of mice. Not one mouse but MICE. So now, I am in a room full of old lady shit with mice. Needless to say there was no more sleeping.

The following day, I WANT TO SLEEP SOMEWHERE ELSE. Yohboh refused, explaining that it would upset Barb (totally appropriate name for her, btw). So to appease me (really displeased by this), he buys rat poison that I put down.

So my child can sleep next to rat poison, dead mice and a hospital toilet.

My mother in law, tried to comfort me by saying she hears the mice and they don't bother her. They stay on the other side of the attic. HOW IS THIS ACCEPTABLE?

So I am NEVER spending the night there again. My child and any other future children will NEVER sleep there.

I am back

I had to go out of town for a death in the family.

It sucked balls.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

New Hiding Spot

Ava will tell you where she is hiding if you do not find her fast enough.

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Old T Shirt

See this shirt I am wearing?
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My Daddy wore it when he was ten years old.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dumpling class

Our little family went to a dumpling class. Here is Ava posing with the dumplings she made:

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Monday, April 19, 2010

My new niece in ACTION!








She does not look anything like me.

But she is AWESOME. Good job making a baby, Stinky and Matt.

This morning

This morning Ava came into our room got onto my side of the bed and said, "Hi Mommy. Whatcha doing?" It was a few minutes shy of six AM. Those of you who know I am not a morning person so there was a lot of convincing that she needed to go back to sleep.

So this afternoon:
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And she had fallen asleep on Daddy:
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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Skinned Knees

Ava skinned her knees today. She told EVERYONE about it. I had to wash one knee out because there was grit in it. I said, "Ava, this will hurt but for a little while." She started crying at the word "hurt"

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But she got over it.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Single Day

So I was left to my own devices for a few hours. It was GLORIOUS!

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Mommy, I upside down!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Dresses

Ava is all about dresses.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Today

One year ago
Eating cucumber


Two years ago
Grumpy Socks


Three years ago

Ne-Yo

I cannot keep track of the R & B singers. But I know Ne Yo because of the hat.

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More on the craziness

So the street I live on was blocked off:
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And the little boy was found:

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pink floyd

Ava is wearing a pink floyd tshirt.

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Craziness

There were news trucks in the neighborhood.

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And yohboh was interviewed on the local news:

Auntie Minjenah

My sister, Stinky has had a baby. Since she has not been named yet, I am going to call her what my sister calls her, Kumquat.

Kumquat, I love you so.
Your mommy is a very good sister.
She is a good mommy.
You are so lucky to have her as a mom.
She is a smart, funny and giving woman.
She also takes very little shit, so it will be fun to see two headstrong individuals teach and learn from each other.

I can't wait to meet you!

Why not, right?

Why the fuck do you have a kid?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Household Laundry Tip

I washed something red with Ava's clothes. The ending result was a LOT of pink stuff. I read about this tip in an old book and I decided to try it:

When you have pink clothes, wash them again with white vinegar, about eight ounces. No detergent, just the vinegar.

Let them soak in the vinegar for about 30 minutes.

Then run your wash cycle. You may have to wash your clothes again to get the vinegar smell out.

It worked!

Garden Planting

Yohboh and I spent about two hours planting and watering our garden.

Ava was helpful by getting very dirty and needing a bath.

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Annoyed

So we went out to our favorite cheap Mexican joint tonight. We opted to sit outside since the weather was so nice. The outside area had three couples and seven children as one party. Six of the children were being kids. One SCREAMED the whole time. I mean screamed to the point that I had a headache and my dining experience was ruined.

Finally, his father, who had spent the whole evening seated, got up and put him in the car with the child's Nintendo DS. Because we all know the way to reward behavior like SCREAMING at the top of your lungs for 90 minutes is to play a video game.

If it were me, I would have put him in the car to scream until I was finished eating 90 minutes before the father actually did.

Without the fucking Nintendo.

Passive Agressive

I wish more people who say what they mean and mean what they say.

For the rest of you who do not wish this: Passive Aggressive Notes.

Monday, April 12, 2010

OMG

I am sunburned. This is the first sunburn I have had in 20+ years.

Naps

Ava took a nap today. It made her more energetic before bedtime.

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Ava said tonight, "I want some water, Min."

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Polka Dots

Ava is a little obsessed with polka dots.

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Another Garden Picture

because yohboh insisted.

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Want and Need

Somtime, the greatest hell is getting exactly what you want because nine times out of ten it is not what you need.

Dixie Carter

Dixie Carter has died. I love Designing Women. I know, totally Lifetime channel but here are a few quotes from Julia Sugarbaker I enjoy:

Ray Don: Allow me to introduce myself - Ray Don Simpson.
Julia: There's no need for introductions, Ray Don, we know who you are.
Ray Don: You do?
Julia: Of course. You're the guy who is always wherever women gather or try to be alone. You want to eat with us when we're dining in hotels. You want to know if the book we're reading is any good or if you can keep us company on the plane. And I want to thank you, Ray Don, on behalf of all the women in the world, for your unfailing attention and concern. But read my lips and remember, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes we like talking just to each other, and sometimes we like just being alone.

Julia:I do not think everyone in America is ignorant! Far from it!! But we are today, probably, the most uneducated, under read, and illiterate nation in the western hemisphere. Which makes it all the more puzzling to me why the biggest question on your small mind is whether or not little Johnny is gonna recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning! I'll tell you something else, Mr. Brickett. I have had it up to here with you and your phony issues and your Yanky Doodle yakking! If you like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance everyday then I think you should do it! In the car! In the shower! Wherever the mood strikes you! But don't try to tell me when or where I have to say or do or salute anything, because I am an American too, and that is what being an American is all about! And another thing, I am sick and tired of being made to feel that if I am not a member of a little family with 2.4 children who goes just to Jerry Fallwell's church and puts their hands over their hearts every morning that I am unreligious, unpatriotic, and un-American!! Because I've got news for you, Mr. Brickett. All liberals are not kooks, anymore than all conservatives are fascists!! and the last time I checked, God was neither a Democratic nor a Republican! And just for your information, yes I am a liberal, but I am also a Christian. And I get down on my knees and pray everyday -- on my own turf -- on my own time. One of the things that I pray for, Mr. Brickett, is that people with power will get good sense, and that people with good sense will get power.....and that the rest of us will be blessed with the patience and the strength to survive the people like you in the meantime!!

JULIA: ...........in general it has been the men who have done the raping and the robbing and the killing and the war-mongering for the last two thousand years.... and it's been the men who have done the pillaging and the beheading and the subjecating of whole races into slavery. It has been the men who have done the law making and the money making and the most of the mischief making! So if the world isn't quite what you had in mind you have only yourselves to thank!!
REESE: Oh yeah? That's what you think about men? Well let me tell you something about women............... They're always late.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

BIG NEW Garden

So this year, Yohboh and I have decided to quadruple the size of our vegetable garden. That means that we have a 33 x 60 foot garden space. Yohboh tilled it today:

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So in August, when I am stuffed to the gills with garden tomatoes, come find me. I will share!

Busy Day

Since Ava's exploits were exhausting yesterday, she slept later. I had a yard sale and then the garden was tilled.

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Friday, April 09, 2010

Looks like Stinky

To my sister, who I love:

I HOPE YOUR KID COMES OUT LOOKING JUST LIKE ME!

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Old Radios

So I went to visit Yohboh's relatives recently. I took a picture of this:

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It is a Solid State Zenith.

So then my father in law had a lot of crap that he dropped off. It included this:
Old Radio

I don't know why old radios that had circuit boards make me happy but they do.

Co Conspirator

Lola just took a huge dump and a piss pool bigger than her body in the house.

It's like Lola and Ava are trying to tag team drive me crazy.

Ava the terror

I think Ava ate one of my contact lenses this morning......

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Grumblies

Ava and I had a bad day. Ava and Daddy got along fine:

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For yohboh

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Mei

Mommy I want my hair to look like Mei from Totoro.

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Also a knock knock joke from Ava.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Arm!
Arm who?
Armpit!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Be Careful out there!

Ava told me when I put her to bed, "Be careful out there!"

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Monday, April 05, 2010

Pizza Night

Tonight, a few people came by to make and eat pizzas.

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It was a lot of fun!

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Visit to Crackerville

So for Easter, we went to crackerville. The seventeen year old is pregnant again. This is her third pregnancy. I think fertility grows rampant in trailer parks.....

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Mommy, that is not nice!

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Today

Three years ago:


Two years ago:
Ava and DBW

One year ago:
Cute

Toque

Ava models a lovely toque that came in the mail for her.

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Top Chef this, bitches!

Angry

Someone has stolen 86 dollars from my paypal account. FUCKERS!

Silly

Ava can be so silly.

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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Baker

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Ava likes to help make dinner. Tonight, it was calzones. I just get tickled by the flour all over the face.