Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ava is better

So Ava's eyes are not as irritated. All the warm compresses helped. She went swimming:
DSC_0010

She really likes swimming.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

One year ago today

PIZZA

Yard Sale

We did a yard sale today. It is interesting what sells and what does not.

Big sellers: toothpaste, deodorant and foot pads.

Thing I thought would never sell: a spear.

Things that did not sell well: the microwave, the little coffee pot.

Ava's eyes are worse. Now both are irritated. She also skinned her knee and got a BooBah bandaid which she liked a lot.

Cutie

Friday, May 29, 2009

Two years ago today

Out of Sorts

Ava has been out of sorts today. Her eyes are a little irritated and red and I cannot figure out why.

Out of sorts

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Terrible Twos

Yep, they are here.
Crazy Active Baby

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Colossal Grump

I have no idea why I am so grumpy.

Cutie

Cutie


Who is the most awesome baby in the world?

ME!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I love soup

Cutie

Today Ava said I love soup at a very inopportune time.

Monday, May 25, 2009

One Year Ago today

Braves outfit
Ava went to a Braves game.

Out of focus

Cutie

Ava likes to take a shower.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Heuristics

Here are some things I think are true:

1) Anything that your parents did is inherently uncool.
2) Anything that your grandparents did may be cool.
3) You can only wear the trends once. If you are 40 something and rocking blue eyeshadow, feathered hair, and pink acid washed jeans STOP and go to Banana Republic and buy some khakis and get a haircut.
4) Truly cool people do not give a shit about what is cool. They just do what they like. That is the secret.
5) Make up should make you look better, not like you are wearing make up. (See #3 about that blue eyeshadow)
6) Same with perfume.
7) There is nothing scarier that a table full of drinking women.
8) Eating too much meat with make you feel tired, so eat some plants more than occasionally.
9) Getting blotto drunk should be a phase. If you are still getting blotto drunk well past your 40th birthday, re-evaluate.
10) Bitching about people who bitch is very counterproductive.

Tired Baby

All this activity has worn Ava out!

She got up at ten thirty. She took her nap at one. She slept for five hours. She was asleep at ten pm.

Sleepy

Saturday, May 23, 2009

First Pool Party of the Year

Little C was there:

DSC_0004.

I think I may have a baby crush on little C.
DSC_0070

This is little D.
DSC_0065

And Ava:
DSC_0081

who is fast friends with KC.
DSC_0083

Cutie

This is little C.

Cutie


This is my little imp.

Cutie

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sushi

We had sushi for Marty's birthday.

With Papa

Happy Birthday Emo

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Cutie Cutie Cutie and tired mama

Yesterday, Ava and I went to the store where she insisted she bring her purse. In it, she put her water bottle and sunglasses. She carried it with her at the store. Pretty cute!

Today, Ava did the poop on Mama's freshly showered face thing again. Also her time out was for climbing on the dining room table (a big NO NO) and pouring Kosher Salt. Toddlerhood is giving me gray hair.

I got her a new dress:
Cutie

First time out

Ava had her first time out today.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cutie

Ava and I went to the grocery store. She told the cashier: I have coupons.

Spaghetti

Thinking

If you are offered to be on a reality show, turn it down. Unless you want to look like a violent, crazy man hating whore.

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Little Toddler

My parents came by today to watch Ava while I ran errands. She is very charming to people and my father was enraptured. BUT WHO WOULD NOT BE?

Cutie

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bad Tempered Mama

I was grumpy. Ava is still cute.

Cutie

Cutie

Two years ago today

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Face faller

It looks like Ava fell on her face recently. Her mouth and chin are a bit scratched up.

Cutie

Sample

A company sent me a toilet paper sample:

Toilet Paper Sample
Why do I find this so funny?

Concerned

I was watching H, my godson today and I caught him stealing and lying about it. This upsets me on many levels because I love H. and I want him to do well in life. I am hard on him and at times I feel too hard but lying and stealing are unacceptable.

Photos from yesterday

I could not upload my pictures because DBW was working the pooter.

Here is a peony:
Peony
Ants eat the pus that comes out of them and then they bloom.

Here is an lily:
Pretty Flower

Here is the best thing evah:
Cutie

Friday, May 15, 2009

Actual Conversation between Yohboh, DBW and myself

There should be computer tech porn.
Can you imagine?
I am here to install your RAM.
Oooh! I love your RAM!
I heard your husband's hard drive is broken...

Today is the day

I shared a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme pie with Ava. Yeah, she loved it!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Grey's Anatomy

So I think what Shonda Rhimes is doing is looking at old episodes of ER and revisiting and reinventing them. Also, a lot of the actors who have been in episodes have been on ER. Like the kooky cardiac surgeon was Carter's mom.

The whole George thing was similar to the episode where one of the interns tries to commit suicide on the EL on ER.

Fun Day

Ava got up early and did not nap. She and I went to visit Yohboh at work because he was performing "I like Bare Butts" for the talent show at the hospital he works at.

Bare Butts
Yohboh and his Bare Butts

Ava had a lot of fun

Cutie

Cutie

People I think look alike

Susan Boyle and Colm Meaney

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

One year ago today

Thinking Deep Thoughts

Cutie

Ava liked her dinner. She told me this week: I love trifle. I love macaroni and cheese. I love coupons.

Cutie

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Why yohboh enjoys our child

Ava likes to make sure that daddy has a beer.

cutie
Where da beer at?

Nothing says you are a big baller more than

Nothing says you are a big baller more than using a coupon at a strip club. DBW wants me to add that he has often used coupons at strip clubs, including coupons for meals.

This made me, yohboh and DBW laugh out loud.

Damn those mosquitoes

I have three insect bites on the middle of my back, where my bra strap hits. This means that a mosquito bit through my bra and shirt.

Fuckers!

Thinking

If Britney Spears had not become a pop star, she would be a first tier stripper at a strip club in Louisiana.

Awkward Boners

Yes this is a website. Those of you at work, do not look!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sorta Back

So DBW got me internet working.

Giving him much love.

So here are some photos for those of you who were photo starved:
Today
Fabulosity
FABU!

Mother's Day
Cutie
The hair ties match the dress. That is the girliest thing I have done.

Still Internetless

We are still internetless. I feel like I am shivering....

MAINLINE ME MY INTERNET!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Lifeline

So my internet is down. This makes me grumpy for many reasons but the main one is that I had no idea how addicted I was to the Interweb.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Commencement Speeches

This time of year makes me think of commencement speeches.

David Foster Wallace had a good one a few years ago.

Conan O'Brien
had a funny one

Here is a list of good commencement speeches.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Grumpy

So I was up until two AM last night trying to get the mythic 75 off 100 dollar coupon from this website. THERE WAS NO 75 off 100 coupon. Old Navy makes me grumpy.

Cutie
Me TOO!

Bananas

So I have a leg cramp from when I got up this morning. Yohboh suggested I eat a banana.

Why is it every time I get a leg cramp someone always pipes up with, "Eat a banana."?

Yohboh is the only person who has ever massaged them out for me. That is why I married him.

Water

This morning, Ava called water water not wawa.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

New Hairstyle

I could never do hair for a living. I do not have the patience for it.

Braided Pigtails
Mommy made me sit down so she could do my hair. I did not like it!

Braided Pigtails
The uneven backside.

Sleebak

Ava calls a blanket a sleebak.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Interesting but bullshit

This article talks about how in other countries children are allowed to run fruit stands and watch other children as early as five. Also it talks about how children are now allowed to run free anymore.

I always find articles like this are total bullshit. Why? There are no numbers to back it up. You can say that crime now is as bad as it was in the seventies but what are the actual digits per capita? GIVE ME THE STATISTICS. Also, it seems the author is idealizing childhood because it is very far away from where she is now. I remember when Becky Hightower (not her real name) told everyone that I ate dogs in fourth grade because that is what Korean people do. Yeah, childhood is fucking magical.

And, yes a child can run a fruit stand in the Philippines at 12. And a 12 year old child can be a prostitute in Cambodia. Don't compare our children to children in third world countries. A child in Thailand sleeps on the street of Bangkok--should I let my child do that? Children in India are maimed because they make more money as beggars if they have only one eye and leg.

This author has sons. I am sure a ten year old girl on the subway in certain neighborhoods in NYC would give some pause.

But really, it all comes down to this: it is very easy to criticize other people for how they raise their children. Stop worrying about my children, worry about your own. If you are raising them the way you want to GREAT! The next time you want to assvise other parents on how to raise their kids then I recommend you can have their kids.

Daddy love

She will be lucky if she can find a person as good as her daddy:

Daddy Love

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Uncool

I know I am uncool. Being a mom makes you inherently uncool. I would like to think that at one point I was cool but I never have been cool. I own that.

Ava, however is totally cool.

Hipster

She is a hipster.

TV rant

Why hasn't Chuck been renewed? It is a funny entertaining show.

Why is there more Apprentice and Biggest Loser and NO CHUCK?

Monday, May 04, 2009

Presenting

Scrunchy
the uber scrunchy face.

Mutual Of Omaha

There is a baby possum that is taken residence in yohboh's grill.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Cute Things

Ava says You're welcome when thanked.
She says UMMMM when she is thinking.

Cutie
She sticks her tongue out to the side.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Much to my consternation

Cutie
The toddler likes to play outside.

Go Braves !

We took Ava to a baseball game:

At the game

She had a lot of fun until it started POURING rain.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Minjenah Bug Killa

In the last week, I have killed a wasp and two jumping crickets with my bare hands. Well, actually I stun them with my hands and then deal the killing blow with a shoe, a baby bathtub or a rolled up magazine. This is noteworthy because before I had a kid I would have shied away from this but now I relish protecting my child from the bugs.