Thursday, April 30, 2009

Better than a weatherman

Ava's hair gets really curly before it rains.

Cutie

Glenn Burns and Ken Cook has got NOTHING on me!

Be a Pain in the Ass

Have you ever seen an uncomfortable situation and looked away?

I remember when I was a child watching a father beat his son in KMart. I was a child myself and he yelled at me to get the fuck away. The man was really beating the shit out of his kid. I winced hearing the sound of flesh slapping flesh. The child was about Ava's age now. And I will always remember the pleading look in the child's eyes as I looked away.

I have always vowed to be the pain in the ass woman who would call attention to the asshole beating his kid. He could try to beat me too but that motherfucker needs to learn something: violence begets violence. And violence solves nothing. And I would charge for assault. And I would stand in front of a judge, all four eleven of me and fight for that poor kid.

I ALWAYS carry a camera with me too. Some people think it is cute but I do it so that if I see something like what I saw at Kmart many years ago, I take a photo. And as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

I want there to be more pain in the ass people who butt in when they see something that is not right. If there were more pain in the ass people, the world would be a better place.

Robo Kitty


herro-kitty_joseph-senior-3
Originally uploaded by STILETTO NINJA

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sit and Spin

Sit and Spin

I found this in the neighbor's trash. So I took it. Ava loves it.

For Yohboh

How to be a Successful Evil Overlord

Via Kottke

Number two made me laugh:
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Two Years Ago Today



One Year Ago Today

Fascinating!

Spaghetti Eater

Spaghetti Eater
Yohboh decided it would be best if Ava ate dinner shirtless, like many members of his family. Also, see how cute her little cafeteria looking plate looks?

How to win the war against terror

I think that a way to win the war against terror is to send all terrorist organizations whole milk and double stuff Oreos. They would die from obesity and cholesterol. Also all that refined sugar cannot be good....

Monday, April 27, 2009

Still recovering

I am still tired from the weekend. Ava, however is completely recovered.

Cutie

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Tired Tired Tired

We went to a wedding. It was a lovely day to celebrate two people deciding to share their lives together. Ava had a great time on the dance floor.

DSC_0063
Dancing is awesome!

Also, how cute is this?
DSC_0046


DSC_0030

Minjenah is very tired though. SHE IS AN OLD WOMAN!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

This is the week

This is the week that Ava started calling me Mommy.

Two things

1) A pedicure will make you feel better. Someone massaging your feet and painting your toes makes the day a little sunnier.
2) Caprisun tastes exactly the same as when I was a child.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Helpful girl

Ava wanted to put the beer in the cooler.

Putting cans in the cooler.
So she did.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

SCRUNCHY FACE

I have created a scrunchy face monster.

SCRUNCHY
Unfocused Scrunchy

SCRUNCHY
Close Up Scrunchy

SCRUNCHY
Super Scrunchy

Also Yohboh did this:
Yohboh did this

Amazing and Beautiful Photo Essays

The Bride was Beautiful

and

Paul and Maddie
The ambulance taking them to Toys R Us made me cry.

Via Kottke

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Don't mess with Minjenah

A few days ago, I was at Target buying 90% off Easter merchandise. It was in a condensed aisle and a half . I had chosen some things in the half aisle and put them in my cart. I wandered over to the whole aisle and left my cart in the half aisle. I had collected some other things and saw that my cart had been depleted. A woman was walking briskly away with a few of the things that I had put in my cart.

I confronted her.

Minjenah: Excuse me, did you take those things out of my cart.
Ugly Biddy (haughty) : Yes I did. You should not leave your cart unattended.

Well I followed her around until she left her cart unattended and I took my shit back and I took a few other things because KARMA IS A MOTHERFUCKER.

Then I hightailed it out of there so that Ugly Biddy would not take the stuff I took.

And Ava is now the proud owner of a Yo Gabba Gabba train set.

Earth Day

I went and bought a shopping bag for Earth Day. I now have five and can only find one.

Girl Of Leisure
She crosses her legs at the ankles.

I laughed OUT LOuD

If you are at work, do not click on this. It is hilarious!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Wow Wow Wubbzy


Ava's favorite show lately is Wow Wow Wubbzy.

This is yohboh and Ava watching it.

Thinking


I think to look like a badass you have to look constipated. Look at the above picture. He looks like he needs prune whip.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Happy 4/20

It is five days after tax day.

Eating a Nana

GRUMPY PANTS

I woke up pissy this morning. And it has not gone away yet. Maybe I should do what Ava does and take a nap and hit restart?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Minjenah is getting old

I had ONE drink last night and I am still dragging. I am getting too old.

SCRUNCHY
YOU ARE OLD MAMA!

Minjenah, the Bargain Hunter

So I have been doing the drug store game for about three months now. And I think it is worth doing. I have a list of the money saving blogs I read here. It is not a blog but a constantly updated list of all the blogs I read. But to give you an example of how well you can do at the drug store game:
Cheap Stuff
I got all this at CVS for $1.01.
That is:
Two tubes of toothpaste
Six bottles of hair care stuff
One bottle of shave gel
Three bottles of sunscreen

I am not going to explain the whole drugstore game because there are so many blogs that do it so well. But rest assured, I have always been cheap but now I am taking it to a whole new level.

Female Rituals

So tonight, I was getting ready to go out as Ava watched. I gave her the blush brush so she could play with it and she imitated me as I put make up on. She also wore some lip gloss.

Two Years Ago

One Year Ago

Scrunch!

Busy Day

Ava had her favorite person over today and I went to a bachelorette party. Yeah we live wild and crazy lives here.

Lollipop

Ava had her first lollipop.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Top Gun

So I am watching Top Gun and say what you want about Tom Cruise now he was amazing in that movie.

And the volleyball scene still holds up.

And Val Kilmer was damn fine.

New Sunglasses

Did you know I have a freakishly big head? It is very hard to find sunglasses for such a large head like mine. I got some new ones that my daughter lovingly modeled for me.

Mama's New Sunglasses

A TV show I would like to see Sistas

Does anyone remember the TV show Sisters? Wouldn't it be great to have it be about black sisters based in Atlanta? So you TV executives GET ON IT!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Follow up to Dick Holloman guy

So when I was talking to the dude, I also found out where he lived, how much he paid for his house and how many kids he had. Yeah, all that is available online. It really bugged him.

Swing

Ava loves her swing.

Swing!

My name is Dick Holloman part two

So I got another one of these chain letters that has the bullshit if you send me a dollar, you will become a millionaire thing.

I find these things annoying because how the hell do they find my address?

So I turned the tables today and googled the person who sent me this letter. AND CALLED HIM!

His name was Carroll from Iowa. He was retired and sounded very old. I asked him if he had been successful with this and he said he had been successful. He said he was not super rich but it did break better than even. I asked him if he was aware what he was doing was illegal. He said it was not illegal. I asked if he knew who Bernie Madoff was because he in essence was doing the same thing as Madoff who is spending time in jail for what he did. He said he was not aware of that.

He was very kind and thanked me for calling him.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

ISFJ




You Are An ISFJ



The Nurturer



You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.

A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.

In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.

You find it easy to be devoted to one person... a partner who you do special things for.



In love, you express your emotions through actions.

Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!



At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.



How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented



When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

I love you

Yes, this is why people have children:

Conversation between Yohboh and myself a few days ago

Yohboh: I need a new toothbrush
Minjenah: Really? We have some toothbrushes. Do you mind a pink one?
Yohboh: No, I don't care if it is pink. I would care if it was a cock toothbrush.
Minjenah: Okay
Yohboh: I really wouldn't like to brush my teeth with anything shaped like a cock.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

So much fun

I always wondered how I would be as a mother. One thing I want to tell people is it is SO MUCH FUN!

Cutie

Monday, April 13, 2009

Cutie

Ava now says, "Alright."

HOW CUTE IS THAT?

Snuggled Up
I am all snuggled up!

Goodyear blows Monkey Chunks part two

So I went to the Goodyear to get my free oil change and no one there knows what I am speaking of.

GOODYEAR CAN KISS A POOPY DIAPER!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Crackerville

It is once again a visit to crackerville. The almost seventeen year old is not pregnant now but has been pregnant three times.

Yeah, it makes me tired. But I will use it as a cautionary tale to my child. If you do not go to college, you could live in a trailer park and be raising your own grandchild at 34 years old.

She learned how to honk the car horn
Ava learned how to honk the horn on the car. See how delighted she is?

Thinking

When someone you think is a poor parent, gives you advice on how to raise your child do you laugh in their face or just nod?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter Bunny

Today
Easter Bunny





Easter last year.




Easter two years ago.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Baby love

I know she is not a baby anymore. She is so smart! She figured out the garden hose. She knows how to count to thirteen. She says eleben and seben. She also says, it's heaby when she carries her Elmo, Pooh, sheep and water. She tells Lola to stay. Every night when she goes to bed she says, I love you Mama.

Likes Ham

Goodyear may not blow big fat monkey chunks

So I got a call from customer service for Goodyear. Jody apologized for the treatment I had received and said that they would honor the coupon for a free oil change if I returned to that store.

So I will return on Monday to get an oil change. Let's see if they actually honor it......

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Bubbles

Ava likes to play with bubbles.

Bubbles

Goodyear blows big fat monkey chunks

My letter to customer service:

To whom it may concern,

I have had a bad experience at your Goodyear store on 1234 Q Street in Some Place, Some State.

I was recently sent a coupon for a free standard oil change. It was a post card that had my address on it. In a bright yellow line, it stated that this coupon expired on April 12, 2009.

Before I went to the store, I called ahead to see how busy they were as well as if the coupon was valid. I was told they were not busy and that it would take about 45 minutes. So I went to the store to get my free oil change.

When I arrived approximately 20 minutes later, I immediately told them of my coupon. The gentleman looked at my said coupon that my coupon was not valid and said it had expired on March 14, 2009. He pointed to the fine print where it did say the coupon was valid until that date. I pointed to the bright yellow line that had in black bold face: HURRY! Offer expires April 12, 2009.

He explained that they would not take the coupon because there was an email that was sent stating the coupon had a misprint. I asked to see the email and was refused. I also asked to have my coupon back and was refused.

I left without coupon in hand.

If I had been told about the misprint when I called then I would not have come to the store and wasted Goodyear and my time.

I am very disappointed with the treatment I have received and furthermore will no longer send my business to Goodyear. I also will not buy another Goodyear tire or other product and prevent anyone in my family from doing so.

Thank you in advance for your time in this matter,

Minjenah


SO DON'T BUY GOODYEAR! THEY BLOW MONKEY CHUNKS!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

One year ago today

My happy face

Bond, James Bond

Diamonds Are Forever
This is Ava and yohboh watching Diamonds are Forever.

No light

Before I put Ava down for her nap, she said, "No light." and pointed to the window where the blinds were opened. So I closed them and she went to sleep.

Maybe that is why she has had a hard time napping?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Two Years Ago

Grumpy

Today I had very little patience. Sometimes, motherhood makes you impatient. But look how cute my bunny is:
Throw a ball

Monday, April 06, 2009

Ava likes Elmo

Elmo
I LIKE ELMO!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Elrod turns 37

Elrod and a Sleestak
This guy turned 37.

Cutie
It was FUN!

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Friday, April 03, 2009

Ava likes to wash her hands

Washing Hands
She asks to wash hands Mama!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Ava is so awesome

I mean seriously, people who knew the fruit of my woom (I think it looks more how it sounds spelled that way) is so cool!

She can say bitches. Yeah, I am going to Mama hell.

Cutie All Fall Down
This is after ashes ashes all fall down.

Conversation

During Ava's nap, I was starting dinner. I went to the pantry to get some spaghetti sauce. Ava started calling me so I had a jar of sauce in my hand when I went to go get her.

She saw the sauce and this was our exchange.
Ava: Spaghetti
Minjenah: Yes, we are having spaghetti for dinner.
Ava: Yummy! (She closes her eyes and pantomimes rubbing her belly and says MMMMMM)
Minjenah: You love spaghetti.
Ava: Daddy loves spaghetti!

There was our first actual exchange of ideas, over spaghetti.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The funny one

Ava is a morning grumpy person. Just like her mama.

SCRUNCHY