Thursday, January 31, 2008

This made me laugh out loud

All of us are off

We are all a bit sick.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Introduced Organic Multigrain Waffles into a Hello Kitty Bowl

This is my new bowl. It had an organic multigrain waffle in it.

I would show you the waffle but I ate it all!

For dinner, I was upset. Upset about the lack of organic multigrain waffle. And missing Hello Kitty bowl.

Secret Shame

I tend to make too much food. My natural cooking number is eight. And I don't like leftovers. So Yohboh normally has at least three choices for lunch. And he takes it in a GladWare container. He is not very good about returning them, however.

As seen below:

This is what Yohboh put on the kitchen counter yesterday.

Crisis Averted

So just now, the UPS man arrived delivering many things for my sister. That may sound strange but Stinky will be coming to visit soon and MUST get things from America for her ex pat ass. She has them shipped here for reasons I do not know. I guess she could ship them to my parents house but maybe they would be nosy with the shipments? Anyway, she has them shipped here.

I think I have mentioned before that Lola hates UPS. It is a hatred that none of us will truly understand, unless we were canine. I hear the truck before the dog realizes it and look immediately at her. And whisper SHHH! with the force that only a mother can. Why? Because the baby is taking a nap. AND YOU NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY. (Can I hear an AMEN?) So Lola is about to run to the door and do her bark thing, which indicates that she actually is a dog instead of a cat. I block her from the door with a plastic bag in my hand. And crinkle the plastic bag defiantly.

What I have perhaps never mentioned is that Lola has a fear of plastic bags crinkling. It is an odd fear, but can be used to our advantage. The crinkling of the bag temporarily paralyzes the dog so that the UPS man can deliver whatever without the dog making a sound. He drives off and Lola slinks back into the room with the baby to join her for the continuation of her nap.

Crisis Averted.

Helpful Baby

I was putting Ava's socks on this morning. (I let my baby sleep barefoot last night - I KNOW I AM GOING TO HELL FOR THAT.) Ava held out her foot for the sock to be put on. How charming is that?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Sexual Homo

Let me give you a ride in my Mazda Miata...

Smiley Baby

I crawl and smile!

Mom! Pictures, now?

I am thoughtful.



I am really tired today. Why? No idea.

Maybe I am sick.

New Infomercials

I like how infomercials have this part in black and white where doing the activity that the products does so easily is such a chore. A CHORE IN BLACK AND WHITE NO LESS!

Here are my new favorites:
Kinoki Foot Pads - because toxins are in your feet. Why not just attach maxi pads?

Mighty Putty - this reminds me of the red light green light stick of gum explosive thing from Mission Impossible that Tom Cruise used at the end to blow up the train or the copter.

AeroGarden - This makes me wonder how many fresh herbs I could buy for three easy payments of 49.99 as well as 19.99 shipping. With the 85 dollar herb garden seed packet. When I moved in with yohboh, I spent ten dollars on our herb garden. We still have the sage, oregano, two kinds of thyme and rosemary. AND WE MAINLY IGNORE IT!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Ava did not like her bib



It does not match my outfit.

Neh Neh

Ava asks for milk by saying neh neh. She can say it in her sleep and opens her mouth wide for that delicious neh neh.

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Eat my book!

Eat my book.

Want some?

I had one drink yesterday and I am beat. Old Age = Mothafucka

Minjenah baked two cakes

I baked two cakes. One had issues because Minjenah cannot multi task. This is the second one. It was delicious.

The cake was for this lovely woman's birthday.

Our daily Ava picture.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Funny Thought

Suppose you were getting married.

Wouldn't it be funny if you got the Kitchen Aid Meat Grinder Accessory and not the Kitchen Aid itself?

Jello Kitty

Ava feels happy

Friday, January 25, 2008


I caught the tail end of TRL today.

I had a few thoughts:
1) Britney Spears's video looks weird. Like her head and her body don't fit.
2) Outside of Britney, I knew no other song on the countdown
3) They still do TRL?

Remote Comparison

Taken January 25, 2008

Taken December 25, 2007. Ava kicked Daddy in the nuts right after this was taken.

Taken November 20, 2007

October 16, 2007

September 16, 2007

August 9, 2007

July 18, 2007

June 8, 2007

April 17

March 15

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Cutest Baby Evah

I admit bias, but is my kid just really fucking cute or what?

Trying to grab the cordless phone.

DURN IT! Almost got it!

Whatchu lookin at? VOGUE!

How I know Ava is doing better

She wants nothing to do with me.

When she feels off, she on me like white on rice.


So yesterday, there were cats fornicating in my crawl space. Caterwauling, if you will (I have always wanted to use that word, it is so appropriate here).

Lola became so distressed about this that she destroyed the strap to my shoes.

She HATES the sounds of cat sex.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ava is feeling a bit better

I feel better.

Grandma came and saw me.

Daddy and I napped.

Maggie is cooler than me

Maggie is cooler than me.


She has taken her child places.

I have taken Ava to the grocery store and the doctor.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I tried to heal Ava organically....

I like the avocado.


Ava is still sick

And I am grumpy

Monday, January 21, 2008

Sick Baby

I feel icky.

Ava has a temp over 100 degrees but no signs of infection.

My poor sick baby. She would play then just start crying.

She is not active. She is Subdued Ava.

Immature much?

So I went to get Ava a thermometer because the one we have sucks.

My mother is here and I was watching 8 femmes on the LOGO channel before I left.

I left the TV on the GAY channel for my mother.

Why do I find this so funny?

People I think look alike

John Barrowman and Tom Cruise

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Made a pudding cake

From this recipe.

Okay, not something I will make again.

Sick Baby

Ava is sick.

She has not slept well.

Ava has a fever

I wish I could exorcise the fever out of her, beat the ever living shit out of it, pull back it's own skin on it's face and feed it its own eyes.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Ava's Second Snow

This was taken at one AM. Baby was awake at one AM.

Snow on the Japanese maple.

Snow on the dead passion vines.

Snow is bullshit. It is so cold that mama made me put this STUPID vest on.