Thursday, May 31, 2007

Why I think Ralph Lauren is an idiot

I think Ralph Lifshitz never had to change a baby in his over privileged, pretending to be a WASP when he was not, life. Case in point look at this outfit:

Yes, Ava looks supercute in it. (I challenge anyone to tell me when Ava is not supercute) Do you see where there would be snaps at the diaper area? There are buttons! WHO THE FUCK PUTS BUTTONS ON A BABY OUTFIT? Ralph Lauren does that's who! Snaps are a challenge as it is when you have a baby who loves to kick. Ava will kick you all day on her changing table. Ralph Lauren (nee Lifshitz--GREAT SURNAME) you are in IDIOT!

Another look at the outfit Ava will never wear again.

We tried an educational toy

Ava thought it was bullshit.

My favorite book to read to Ava.

Also, I just put Ava to bed and she was warbling (saying her ooohs and aahhhs in her sing song way) in her sleep. HOW CUTE IS THAT!!!??

Two Things

1) Ava has a heat rash in her neck. To get to it requires moving three fat rolls. I can put about a tablespoon of powder in that fold.

2) Ralph Lauren does not know shit about baby clothes (pictures later today)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Photos with Captions

What's Up

Momma and Ava

Daddy powering up Ava's hair

Hair Powered Up!

Ava with bangs

Two things

1) Yohboh and I had sex last night. Afterwards, yohboh was going to give Ava a bath. But he fell asleep. I am annoyed that he did not bathe my child, but on the other hand, I did just get laid.

2) My mother came over today. Ava sometimes likes to look around while nursing. I was drinking some carrot, beet, celery juice (YUM!) and my mom put my nipple in Ava's mouth. MY MOM FELT ME UP!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ninety Minutes

Ava is hungry.

Every ninety minutes I have nursed her today.

I am tired and depleted.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Happy Memorial Day - 15 weeks

Ava is now 15 weeks old.



Watchin' TV with Daddy

She is just so cute

She discovered her hem.

Two Things

1) Ava's neck smells like blue cheese. Her neck folds hold her drool, milk and spit up to form this really unpleasant smell. Yohboh gave her a bath to relieve the odor.

2) This morning, yohboh was out of dairy for his coffee. No milk, half and half. What did he do? He used breast milk.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Laid Back Day

Yohboh, Ava, Lola and I did not do much today.

In other words, a perfect Sunday.

Where I would like to live

I would like to live in a Nancy Meyers movie.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

My parents

I come from a set of paranoid parents.

They taught through fear. Do not sleep with a fan on, you will die. Do not pop a pimple on the middle of your forehead, you will die. Do not go out at night because you will be raped and killed.

If I made a 98 on a test, I was railed with why the fuck I did not get a 100.

I was taught shame about my body because I had breasts at an early age and I got my period early.

If my mother was sick, it was my fault because I was a bad child.

I know I am a disappointment to them.

They repeatedly told me my faults. There were dinnertime discussions about them. I was too fat, lazy and stupid. I brought them deep shame by their imagined transgressions. It is truly ironic that in the Western World, I would have been an ideal child.

For many years, I stopped talking to them. It was not worth the insults and the battering it took to my self esteem. My sister literally moved halfway across the world to get away from them.

I really do not want to have the same fractured and tenuous relationship with my own child. I also want my child to have a good relationship with her grandparents. So I swallow a lot of the vitriol I feel when they insult the way I am raising my child.

Today, Ava had a party to celebrate her 100 days. My parents dropped off enough food for sixty but did not stay because they wanted no part of WHITE PEOPLE TOUCHING THE BABY.

She is half white. So this could be challenging.......

Ava's Paegil

Auntie Tonia holding the baby

Rachel and the Avanator

Daddy and Ava in her hat

Outfit change


Friday, May 25, 2007


Yohboh and I went to get pedicures today. It is so nice to have someone massage my feet. Yohboh got his customary gold toes.

Feet all blinged up

Lola just discovered that there is food in the kitchen! As in people (namely minjenah) drop it and Lola can eat it! It only took her a little over three years to figure this out.

Also, yohboh agrees that in this entry there are no similarities whatsoever.

Now on with the Ava pictures:

Look how big Ava's hair is!

This is the saddest face in the world. It is heartbreaking.

This is Ava's foot at nine days old.

This is Ava's foot at 103 days old.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Ava in a cute outfit

Ava in her sailor outfit

Daddy and Ava chillin

Stinky's opinion

My sister says these two pictures display similarities.

What is your opinion?


Well I was reading Ava this book and I teared up.

I better be PMSing....

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Ava's Paegil

This is the rice cake my mother made for the baby.

Ava is one well loved baby.

One thing she inherited from her father, her big hair.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ava, my kid, who is the center of the universe

Ava sucks her thumb

She is asleep. She looks like she is giving mommy the finger

Navel Gazing

This is Daddy's favorite onesie

Check out that neck strength.

Happy Birthday to Stinky

Today is stinky's birthday.

She is 32.

Ava is practicing blowing out the candles on Stinky's birthday cake.

Monday, May 21, 2007

What I miss

There are parts of my life before motherhood that I miss.

I miss the ability to just get up and go. If I want to run out and get something, I have to get the diaper bag, change the baby, get the car seat, put the baby in the car seat, get in the car and then go.

I miss my alone time.

I miss sleeping late.

A woman at book club asked if me if I used any product to get her hair to stand up.

Ava in her throne.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I have no title

Motherhood means sometimes you are so tired you just don't care. Ava just vomited in our bed. I am too tired to change the sheets right now. I put a towel on it.

Yes, I am sleeping on a towel that is the only layer between me and vomit.

Hi Mom!


Ava, the master of the universe

My mom, who has gone on and on about how busy she is and would not be able to drop by to bathe the babay just dropped by to see the babay.

Ava is the center of the universe.

Ava wants to rap

Put Ya Hood Up

Put Ya hood up

Friday, May 18, 2007

Ava has a couple things to say

Hey, am I cute or what?

This yellow duck is so cool!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ava's Moods in Song

Daydreamin and thinking of boob

So happy together!

Nothing compares, nothing compares to boob