Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Good Bye Grandfather Ashmore








My grandfather in law, who I know as Ash, died a few minutes ago. He was a good soul, very kind and sweet and Southern in the best possible ways. I do not know what happens when you die, but I am comforted to know that he had a good life, a beautiful family, and passed with as little pain as possible.

He was ninety-two.

Rest in Peace

Hustle and Flow

I was watching this movie today.

It is good. It talks about people who have a dream and quash it to get by.

What happens to the people who do not have a dream?

Halp

I cannot lean over.

I cannot drive.

I cannot get things our of the washer.

I cannot get things out of the dryer.

My fundus is 40 cm.

I am at 37 weeks.

I am really beginning to panic.

WE ARE TALKING about surgery.

Also, I am so uncomfortable that surgery does not seem that bad.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Other things

Well I am not going to bitch AT ALL during this post.

Yohboh and I had the day together. I slept rather hard because I was drugged. Lola was off at the in law's house and the evening was SO cold that all the water outside FROZE. Like I mean the water in the garden hose! Winter is insane!

Also, yohboh planted a blueberry bush for the baby.

I put together a Graco Pack and Play for the baby and figured out the car seat. I started packing.

Me thinks I am nesting.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I WANT HER OUT

My mother came by today with fruit and told me she thinks the baby will come later rather than sooner.

I almost ripped her head off.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Irritable

One of the most annoying things is how I am just so fucking grumpy.

I cannot lean over. So doing laundry is quite a chore.

I cannot drive, so I feel trapped.

And I am so sick of being an itchy power strip.

Yeast

Yeast is awesome in bread. In cinnamon buns.

It SUCKS in your good girl

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Sesame Street used to be COOL

Who do you think they could get that would equal this? The Game? Young Jeezy?

I want to sleep

but I cannot. I am so tired and all the Ambien, Benadryl and Tylenol PM are not flippin working!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I am a power strip

Last night Yohboh inserted something in my good girl for my yeasty problem.

I then inserted something in my back door for my poopy problem.

I am a power strip.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

You know when you married the right man

You know you married the right man when

1) He is willing to give you an enema up your hemmroidal ass

2) He goes to the store with you and asks the pharmacist about yeast cream

3) He applies yeast cream on your yeasty parts because you are too pregnant to reach them

I love my yohboh

Monday, January 22, 2007

Pop Culture Things that hold Zero interest for me

American Idol- I have never watched this show except for the moments of flipping between channels
Donald Trump- He is old and his hair looks like a pelt. He marries very pretty women and then divorces them when they get wrinkles. He is not someone who should get away with this since he has many wrinkles.
Jessica Simpson- She is a little pretty, a bad singer bad skin
House- I hate this show.
24- same thing, never watched a minute.
Paris Hilton- umm, be happy you are rich

Not to say I don't love pop culture. But for some reason, these do not interest me.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Unrelated thoughts

Sitz baths are addicting. Put your bottom in warm water. NICE.

Farting aggravates my hemorrhoids.

I have tingling sensations in both my hands.

I have an ingrown hair that HURTS.

I am so uncomfortable.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Neon is dead long live the Neon

My 1994 Dodge Neon is dead.

It lasted 12 years.

Sleep deprived

I am now taking Ambien.

I would like to get some flippin sleep.

Also, can I tell you a sitz bath is quite nice. Makes me feel infirm, but wow! good stuff.

I want this book

More importantly, I want this marriage

I hope that I am loved like she was....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Lola

I took Lola to the vet.

She pooped on the floor, peed on same floor and refused to drink water.

She had many vaccinations and is currently sleeping it off.

Also, we put new bling on her to show she is not rabid.

I am so tired

the latest and greatest for pregnancy is the inablility to sleep.

I fucking hate being pregnant

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Urgh

Hemorrhoid cream has a laxative effect on my butt.

I got up too early

5:30 AM!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Things I have done this week that I do not like

Be nice to a moron
Order a sitz bath
Put things up my butt
Deal with the roids

Monday, January 15, 2007

A new curse

Hemmorroids are painful.

I think I will begin wishing them on my enemies.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

My 250th post

I think I am addicted to the internet.

This is the stuff you can find.

I can freaking DIE from this?

Baby Shower

I have had my third baby shower. Boy, do I have a lot of loot!

The meatballs were a big hit so I am going to put the recipe on the internet for all to enjoy.

Minjenah's Meatballs

1 package frozen meatballs (about 30)
1 bottle Mr. Yoshida's Hawaiian Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 can diced pineapple, juice and all
1 Tablespoon grated fresh ginger
10 dashes hot sauce ( I prefer Texas Pete)

Put all ingredients in a crock pot. Put on low for 4-6 hours or high for 2-3 hours.

Makes a lot. They never last through a whole party.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

You Tube is AWESOME!

Ohmigod! I found an old Doctor Doctor clip

Friday, January 12, 2007

One of the greatest pleasures known to me

One of the greatest pleasures known to me is to put socks hot from the dryer on my cold feet. WOW. This feels like an occasion near sin.

I went to breastfeeding class today.

I wish Yohboh would be more serious about parenting.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Type A

I am a type A worrier.

I have spreadsheets on how to save the most money on milk, diapers and gas.

I will not let my husband put the heat over 55 degrees because we cannot pay a gas bill over a certain amount.

I have read FIFTEEN parenting/pregnancy books to ensure I am knowledgable on how to be a decent mother. And how to handle potty training. And temper tantrums. And illness. And puberty.

I am stressed because my birthing plan is not finalized.

I spent the bulk of last night depressed and worried since I do not have health insurance for my newborn yet and it makes me feel like a failure as a parent. I cannot provide the fucking BASICS for my baby.

My husband casually mentioned to his friend he is not worried about becoming a father. How hard could it be?

He is not a type A worrier.

He is stoned.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Exhaustion

I have never been so tired in my life. I desperately would like to go to sleep but I am so uncomfortable that I cannot. Why am I so uncomfortable? Because my baby likes to kick me HARD and wake me. I think this is a precursor to what motherhood is like.

I am grumpy.

Also, life is much better with a toasty bottom.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Book Club

I am a member of a book club and we had just an adorable baby shower for me. Mom made the food and I made a spice cake.

I am so tired.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Why?

My dog is normally very good and does not get caught on her lead. However, since I have become over eight months pregnant and I cannot flippin be standing for an hour, she has to get caught, every night.

She knows I am frustrated, so she is hiding under the bed.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Unemployment makes me blog

Well, the old butt problem is back. YUCK.

Also, since I am unemployed, I make creative dinners now.

Chicken with mustard sauce and cornbread stuffing.

Also, I am bored. And cherry coke rocks.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Not busy

I have not been busy since I am not working. Today I ran errands and I am exhausted. I went to three stores and I was so thirsty that I had to stop and get something to drink.

It makes me wonder how in the world I am to be working and doing this. It also makes me amazed that every person who has walked the earth had someone go through this for them. I am so overwhelmed by these emotions that I do not understand how every woman has these.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

My dog is cuter than your dog


So Lola, the dog has been with us for two years and eight months. I did not get to know her as a puppy. So this is what I think she looked like as a baby.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Traditions

One of the cutest things about my yohboh is that he likes to cook for a crowd. Today we had our annual black eyed peas and collard greens meal. We had about 20 people. I am thinking that this is a nice way to start the new year.

Happy New Year

Seh Bohk Mahn hee pad dew seh yoh