Sunday, December 31, 2006

Oh Baby Baby

Well I have showered at three pm.

I would blame this on pregnancy, but it is really my own slovenliness.

Did I mention this shower was the first one since Friday?

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Where does the energy go?

I got up at noon today and just awoke from a nap.

Oh, and my baby is in the 92 percentile for height and weight.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Funny

Who knew Justin Timberlake was so edgy?

Sleeping

Lately, I cannot sleep with my husband. He takes all the blankets.

SCAM

Did you know that it is recommended for children under the height of four feet ten inches tall to be in a booster seat?

I am four eleven. I am glad I have that extra inch. Otherwise, I would have to drive in a booster seat.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Bye Bye Bye

Well the bloody butt is gone!

I know I have been going on and on about it but I have to tell you, when you cannot poop; it becomes your life.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas all. In the spirit of holiday cheer, I present you my personal favorite Tom and Jerry.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Princess=BULLSHIT

The New York Times has an article on princesses. As in , little girls who grow up and want to be one. I wanted to grow up and be James Bond.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Baby Baby Baby

Yohboh has been putting the baby's room together.

OH SHIT I AM HAVING A BABY

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Spiced Nuts

I made these. Damn tasty.

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 cups unsalted mixed nuts, such as walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts, and almonds
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
6 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
Mix spices and reserve.
Heat the nuts in a dry skillet and cook, stirring frequently, until they begin to toast, about 4 minutes. Add the butter and cook, stirring, until the nuts begin to darken, about 1 minute. Add the spices, the sugar, 1 tablespoon water, and the salt and cook, stirring, until the sauce thickens and the nuts are glazed, about 5 minutes.

Remove the nuts from the heat and transfer to a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil, separating them with a fork. Let the nuts stand until cooled and the sugar has hardened, about 10 minutes. Store in an airtight container.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Weird Thoughts

Does anyone else think that Peter Chiara from the 1984 season of the Cosby Show is similiar to George from Grey's Anatomy?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Oh MY GOD Part Two

I had a doctor's appointment and explained the horrible horrible things going on in my butt.

She was nice and explained that I have hemorrhoids (this is AWFUL) and suggested the following:

Senokot
Preparation H

I have now spent 50 dollars on my bloody butt.

My butt and I have always had a friendly relationship. I am not happy with her right now and she knows it.

Also, I know I married a sweet man who can listen to me go on and on and on about my butt.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Oh MY GOD!

In order to heal my bloody butt this is what I have bought:
Preparation H Medicated Wipes
Tucks Medicatd Wipes
Extra Washcloths

I cannot find a Sitz Bath.

My poor ass.

My Ass Hurts

I love to poop. In fact, one of my sister and my favorite topics is poop.

This week in pregnancy, I poop blood. I am crying when I poop.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hee Hee Hee WHO

Yohboh and I completed our Lamaze classes. I learned to be terrifed of pain and that I really do not care for women who are all "this is what my body is meant to do, I want to go natural, I want to FEEL the miracle of birth." FUCK THAT. Bring on the epidural.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Pregnant Massage

I had a massage today. It is the only time in my life that I have had a massage while pregnant.

Did not really like it.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Etta James

I was listening to NPR and they had this article. It got me thinking about my favorite singers. I love Ella, Diana, Billie, but most of all I love me some Etta James. My favorite album is At Last! It was my wedding song. But I think I really like this whole album. She just sings in a way that makes you WANT. TAKE. HAVE.

Monday, December 11, 2006

A worthwhile investment

This is the greatest thing. If you are pregnant go and get one. If you know someone who is pregnant, go and get them one. I cannot sleep without it.

Yohboh does not like it.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Styling Gel Thoughts

In 2003, I bought eight ounces of styling gel.

In 2006, I have used 2/3s of it.

The Joys of Digestion

Well the one part of pregnancy I have mentioned is that when pregnant, you spend WAAAAY too much time in the bathroom. I pee a gallon a day, at least. I wake up at night to drink more water, that is how much hydration I need.

I also poop eight times a day.

I just had poopy butt. This is when an alien crawls up your ass and opens the hole way the fuck open and EVERYTHING comes out.

To the two people who read my blog, I am so sure you needed to know that!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Things that I want to teach my daughter

I was sitting on the can (people, when you are pregnant, you should consider putting a snack bar in there, that is how much time you will spend in there) and got to thinking about things I want to teach my daughter.

Here are a few:
To appreciate a tree ripened summer peach that is so juicy that juice runs down your chin
To enjoy a summer garden tomato
That mean people exist, but there is an 80/20 rule. 80% of people are nice but have 20 % of the voice. 20% are mean, but have 80% of the voice. I think it goes with being mean.
My love of reading and all pursuits of knowledge
ABC and 123's
My love of dogs but not cats.
My tolerance for everything but ignorance

I am looking forward to hearing her laugh.

Friday, December 08, 2006

The many moods of Oprah

Being unemployed means I watch WAAAAAAAY to much Oprah.

There are many different Oprahs. Here are a few:

1) Serious Oprah - the one who talks about genocide or spousal abuse
2) Playful Oprah - the one who flirts with Jamie Foxx or John Travolta
3) REALLY RICH Oprah - the one who exists

Thursday, December 07, 2006

What I am having for dinner

This is what I am having for dinner

London Broil
Butterfly Shrimp
Roasted Brussel Sprouts
Roasted Potatoes

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

It is still cold

I want one of these:

In and Out

So my belly button sometimes pops out during the day. And when it pops out, I have this stinky, sensitive skin that HURTS when rubbed against things. In the shower sometimes, I force it back in. THIS IS SO GROSS!

Water makes pee

One of the most interesting things about pregnancy is the amount of water I consume. It is about 1.5 gallons.

What is really annoying though, is when it is cold and I pee and the TOILET SEAT IS ICY. I wonder if it would get cold enough for my pee to become steamy?

Really cold, seriously.

I think this winter is going to be a rough one. I am having this visual of Ava being born during a freak blizzard that only happens once a century in the South.

I can hear me now,"Ava, the night you were born there was more snow on the ground than there ever had been in the whole state of Georgia."

I am wearing more and more layers as well as a hat.

Tonight's low is 28 degrees.

I may sleep in the hat.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Chicken Thoughts

I was thinking it would be funny if chickens had surgery to make themselves look more enhanced. Like beak yellowing, or thinning the shanks, or comb extensions.

Why do people do this?