Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Le Mayonnaise Vert

I thought I had created this!

Then I was leafing through mastering the art of French cooking and JULIA CHILD HAD ALREADY DONE THIS!


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I have never created ANYTHING

Monday, January 30, 2006

Wendy Wasserstein

The New York Times announced that Wendy Wasserstein is dead.

She is the only playwright I knew of that is a woman.

I am sad that the only playwright that is a woman I knew of is gone.

Why don't I know more female playwrights?

Sunday, January 29, 2006

One thing that freaks yohboh out

Bloody pee pee.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The numbers 317 and 55

Why are these numbers significant?

Because 317 DOLLARS is the amount our last gas bill was!

317 DOLLARS!

What I could buy with 317 dollars?

30 DVDS
20 tanks of gas
634 candy bars
65 magic eight balls
One I POD!

NOOO

What is the significance of 55?

55 degrees is what the house is set at.

This is what I wear when the house is 55 degrees:
THREE Shirts
TWO pairs of pants
TWO pairs of socks.

I hate the evil gas company and I hate the people who make too much money overcharging for WARMTH.

I hate the fact the I refuse to let myself wallow in the luxury of heat because it costs too much,

Monday, January 23, 2006

Joys of a Football Widow

Well, this last weekend is the second to final football game for a long time. Yohboh loves himself some football, but I gotta tell you I find it boring.

What I do appreciate, however is my down time. I get to be by myself every Sunday. I do like that time to putter and make weird things to eat and grocery shop and what not.

Like this was last Sunday:
Went grocery shopping: Mangoes and Avacadoes were fifty cents each!
Made Curried Couscous Salad and Roasted Mushrooms
Washed and folded two loads of laundry
Made the bed
Did many many sudoku (this is evilly addictive!) puzzles
Watched the history channel

I will be glad when this season is over.

I miss baseball.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Embarrassing Truths About Me

1) When left to my own devices, I will eat cereal as opposed to cook. I am known as a good cook, but if it is only me, I have no interest in messing up too many dishes

2) I love diet soda. All flavors, especially grape and strawberry.

3) I actually have a list of the greatest poops I have ever had.

4) I do not like to get dressed up. I loathe it. When I get home, I immediately change into my beloved sweats and take my bra off. I have been known to sleep in my sweats for weeks at at time.

5) I will continually buy the following no matter if there is any in the house:
Discounted Chocolate
Throws
Lipsticks, Lip Liners, Lip Glosses.

6) I love underwear that has cartoons on it.

7) I do not shave my legs. I have so few, I actually pull them off with tweezers.

8) But I do not have the patience to do this with my eyebrows. I have one of these itty bitty razors to groom said brows.

9) I admire the women who always look put together, but never enough to actually put myself together.

10) I think I love my first dog best. Lola is not fierce enough for me.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

My Crazy Drunk Father in Law

This is my father in law.

He is like a teenager. He comes into my house and steals liquor and painkillers.

I like him, but I never keep cash at home.

My parents are emotionally distant but trustworthy.

My father in law is very warm, but I would not leave a nickel about.

Lola

This dog decided to chew a hole in my favorite blanket.

Also, notice the HO HO HO pants. They are yohboh's. They are SMASHING.

WHY AM I NOT TIRED?

It is past midnight, yohboh has been asleep for hours and I am all wired.

Lola is sleeping next to yohboh on the giant Korean heating pad.

Yohboh is not Korean, but he certainly seems to like all things Korean.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Why

Are doughnuts so damn delicious?

I INHALED two before nine AM and I am thinking about snorting another.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts- My CRACK!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The SANDWICH

This sandwich has five different kinds of meat and three cheeses and what I like to call "Le Mayonnaise Vert" which is an herbal mayo I created.

This Yohboh and I ate for FOUR days.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

This is my dog.

Her name is Lola.

She is afraid of everything.
Everything includes:
Ceiling Fans
The sound of flags flapping
The visual of the fabric flapping
Candy Dishes
The dishwasher opening
A drawer opening
cabinets opening
The sound carbonation makes when a two liter of soda is open
The digital camera when I was taking this photo.


Things that she is not afraid of:
Moving Cars
Other Dogs
Cheese
Red Wine
Cigarettes

I think my puppy may be French.

Abomination

White Chocolate Mints from Hershey's are FOUL

Monday, January 16, 2006

Things that frustrate me

1) People who get easily frustrated and quit
2) People who call Kroger Kroger's.
3) People who say the last three words of the sentence I am about to say. It makes you look stupid, not intelligent
4) People who do not know how to merge in traffic.
5) People who steal handles of liquor from my house
6) People who call me at work when they do not work and want to chat. I have a JOB. I do not get to live on the spoils of my significant other.
7) People who do not take care of themselves very well but want to tell me what to do. Keep your own house clean, beeotch.
8) People who think they are much more important to me than they really are. I have walked out of many people's lives without looking back. It has never been hard for me to cut people out of my life so go ahead and test me.
9) People who belittle people who they believe are lesser. The most powerful person I know is always kind. Losers belittle because they know deep down, they have no power. Powerful people do not need to remind you that they have power. Those with the power ALREADY know.
10) When the sales circular says something is on sale and I go to the store and it is not and I have to talk to the pimply teenage clerk, the section manager, then the store manager to get my damn peaches for 1.99 a pound.
11) People who will not try new foods. Kumquats may be ambrosia from the heavens and YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.
12) Abusive men who are married and the wives that love them.
13) People who lie and put other people's lives in harm's way. I think every human who believes that war is a viable option should send their children and grandmother's out to fight it.
14) People who have not updated their blogs since November 30, 2005.
15) People who have alternative spellings of their common name.
Examples: Jason and Jayson, Karen, Caren, Karyn, Caryn, Brittany, Britney, Jennifer, Gennifer, Jennipher, Brian, Bryan, Brion. You have a common name, spelling it different does not make you unique. It makes it annoying that you get mad at me since I spell your name wrong.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Chai Tea

So I figured out how to make chai tea to my liking.

I am putting the recipe here because, well I feel like it.

Four black tea bags
Zest of one orange
10 cardamom pods, smashed ( I used a meat mallet)
2 cinnamon sticks
5 cloves
One thumb sized hunk of ginger, sliced wafer thin
7 allspice berries, again smashed

Four cups boiling water

Put the fist seven ingredients in a vessel (I used Pyrex) and pour the water over it and cover it with a lid (I used a saucer). Pull out the tea bags after FIVE minutes.

I used one part milk and one big tablespoon of sugar to one part of this stuff.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I pod




I love this damn thing.

How did I live before it?

I spoke to my husband more.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Random Thing I love

A child with big dark eyes eating with dogged determination

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Carmen Electra and her slutty ways

So a few months ago, in a fit of good intentions, I bought a Carmen Electra Striptease Aerobic DVD. Seemed like it would be fun, right?

In the dvd she asks you to SLAP YOUR BUTT (it's a great attention getter!) eight times and to STICK YOUR FINGER IN YOUR MOUTH (you've got to commit to it!).

I feel like such a fucking WHORE!